I am unsatisfied with the three and a half hours of rest I so gracefully received.
Feeling a little "eh" about going into my second year of college, being nineteen years old and considered but a child, and owing sixteen-thousand dollars for my vehicle, an answered prayer indeed. Studying something I have always been in awe of, but feeling stiff. Uncomfortable, and impressively lazy. Stuck.
My rice needs salt, the room is not clean, and God's word does not seem to be penetrating deep enough. As I angrily look at my neighbor, blaming them for the mess I have formulated myself, God eased me into the book of Psalms. The desert place, a journey without water and full of illusions. Full of dissatisfaction, and consisting of this question: Will I praise my God, as my heart yearns for immediate help, flesh weeps for something to grip on because He is 'too far'.
David, one of the authors of Psalms was deemed to have a heart in accordance to the will of God. A man that was named King, and also Priest. Something uncommon, actually unacceptable would be the word to best describe it. To have the authority graced by God to deal with His people as King, and to know Him so intimately as Priest to better lead those under him as God desired. Truly beautiful, fascinating, and incredible difficult. David's full journey consisted of constant burials of his flesh, falling and having to see God's hand to press forward (we mention a few examples on Impaciente). So much so that this truth became engraved in David's heart, we see this in the desert place, his faith and trust in God tested while God's voice dimmed.
God, where are you?
We ask this when we need Him most, and usually His voice becomes still. Silent almost, our world being too loud we tend to question it's existence. A busy mentality made up of illusions of a "better life". We say we yearn for His will, but are running marathons and do not find the need to rest. Slow down. We literally scream for His words, as if they are not written. We plead for affection as if His sacrifice was not enough. Inconsiderate, living off of Sunday's teaching of prosperity, and we are not here right now.
We feel justified to be somewhat lost, somewhat busy, somewhat lonely. But we are not, just like how my rice needed salt, we need Him. We need Him, and must follow that still voice. In other words, we need to stop being faithful to these illusions and start being faithful to Him. Without miraculous words of the spirit, or chills in our spine, we must become faithful and listen. Obedience and faith has a better result than self will and confidence in what life has to offer.
Just add some salt, use some clorox and walk.
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